Learn some Cellphone Etiquette!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you agree with someone to meet up but they wont pick up the phone, even though they know that you should be meeting soon? It is incredibly frustrating! What's the point of carrying a cellphone if you're not gonna pick it up! Now, most of the times this has happened to me it has been a girl that doesn't answer. Mostly because girls carry tons of useless crap in their oversize purses where the cellphone just gets lost in there. This is my pet peeve, but there are other situations that are highly annoying as well; like picking up at the movies, or having a loud conversation at a restaurant, or using the phone while driving.  I know the cellphone technology has advanced faster than we have, but let's try to evolve as well.

Learn about "The Shrinkage Solution" to save the world

So, I may be touching on this environmental topic because of the duel I had with the Greenpeace activist last week. I still think that there are more efficient ways of helping the environment, so I wanted to illustrate one possibility.
Recently in the Tech Review there was an article about how in 1967 two MIT civil-engineers professors proposed the idea of shrinking humans in order to use less resources. Even though genetic engineering has advanced since the 60's, I'm not sure this is still possible. What I propose is shrinking our consumption rate. If food manufacturers would produce smaller sizes, people would eat less, wasting less resources, and producing less wasted materials. You can also choose to eat less yourself! You can still eat the same crap, just less of it! I'm doing my part by cutting back on only one dessert a day! SO there you go Greenpeace!

Learn about the Lady Power-walk

Boston is known as a walking city, so everyday I see these women walking to work in a full suit and white sneakers with tube socks. This is known as the Lady Power-walk! High power executive ladies, strolling with confidence, and comfort, down the sidewalks, like they're on a mission. You may have noticed them too, since sneakers and a suit are quite a striking combo. My wife spotted this one walking down the Boston Commons, so if this happens to be you that I'm drawing...I thank you for the inspiration.

Learn how to properly Tip

So tipping can be quite confusing sometimes when you're visiting a new place. Usually, can you can do 10% to 20% of a bill depending on how good the service was. But what about at a bar, or a coffee shop, or a hotel? And more importantly, does it count if no one is looking? You might have to pull a George Costanza on this one and make sure that your tip gets noticed.

Learn how to avoid Sidewalk Activists

It seems like there's more and more sidewalk activists, that somehow feel like they are better than everyone. The most common ones are: Greenpeace, Red Cross, Planned Parenthood, etc. Today I got harassed by a Greenpeace activist for like 30 mins, letting me know how much of an asshole I was being for not signing up, and giving my credit card number to a stranger on the street! I'm not against helping the environment, and homeless people, and all of that, but these organizations have to come up with a more efficient way of spreading their message, than having annoying hippies stopping people on the sidewalk. Anyway, these are some of my moves to avoid them. Although my favorite move has been to harass them back with my own business cards to see if they want to join my cause.

Learn how to fight like a gentleman

So I've never been in an actual fight, but I have had some training. My brother and I were enrolled in Jujitsu for a while. I obviously quit, but my brother continued with Ninjitsu, and is now a Ninja! Anyway, some basic rules, always keep your fists up, protect your chin, and take any chance you get to sneak in that sucker punch! I've diagrammed this one using some old-school boxers who knew a bit about fighting with a fashionable sense of style. You might want to always have those ping-pong shorts ready for your next fisticuffs!

Learn about facial hair styling

So as much as I try, I can not grow any facial hair, at least any decent facial hair style. My brother, on the other side, looks like a lumberjack. Ladies, if you're into that, he's a Doctor in Alaska (hence the lumberjack beard). So for the purpose of this guide, we'll use his face to showcase some of the classics.

Learn to Piss into the Toilet! (Toilet Usage PART 1)

It's pretty annoying when you have to use the toilet and there's piss all around the floor, or even the walls. This is specially gross if it's not a bar but in your own apartment. (Also I hear that usually girl's bathrooms are dirtier than guys bathrooms! What's up with that?) Anyway, this one is pretty simple unless you have some sort of blockage in your urethra that will cause two streams to come out at once, it's a pretty standard procedure. And also, very important, the sign in public restrooms that usually says, "Employees must wash hands," does not only apply to employees! Wash your hands!