Learn about geography PART 1

So the United States is considered "the melting pot," the place where all cultures are welcomed. Yet it seems like nobody knows where these "cultures" are really coming from. This ends up in some uncomfortable conversations with borderline racists remarks. I've been asked if I'm Spanish, Italian, Mediterranean, Punjabi, Part Japanese, Part Chinese, Jewish, Mexican, South American, European, Puerto Rican, Colombian, American. Sometimes it's easier to just let people assume what country I'm from than to explain where El Salvador, Costa Rica, Central America, and Latin America are. So here's the first part of my geography lesson.

Learn how to do a handstand

So when I was about 8 or 9, my mother signed my brother and I into the gym program at my school. And I mean gym as in gymnastics, with spandex and all. Ever seen an eight year old with a six-pack?! The reason was cause she wanted us to grow tall, and apparently hanging from bars and jumping around helps. Yet, I'm still 5'4". Neither gymnastics nor drinking lots of milk helped (I'll get into the milk business in another posting, but in short, you should drink some of that hormone milk from CVS, not that organic Whole Foods crap if you want to grow!) Anyway, I learnt a bunch of tricks, and this was the crowd's favorite while in high-school (ten years ago). I'm keeping it cool and casual in this diagram, but you can go all pro by extending your body fully and pointing your toes. Enjoy, and amaze your friends at your next cocktail party!

Learn how to eat a sandwich

I'm very methodical even while eating. So I've developed this process for eating sandwiches. I usually see people eating "across" the bread, but I believe that going around the bread will leave a better bite for last, specially if it is a spread sandwich like nutella or peanut butter. Burgers are more controversial though, since you can start by cutting them in half, eating them with fork and knife, or just eating the whole thing as is. My technique for burgers will hold all the ingredients in the middle and your last bite will be quite satisfactory! Enjoy your next sandwich!

Learn how to prepare for a Hurricane Irene

Lately it seems like we're having a natural disaster one after another: tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, etc. Most of the times we can't prepare for them, but it's always a good idea to have provisions around the house. If you live in the East Coast of the United States, you are probably getting hit by Hurricane Irene. The following diagram shows a list of provisions worth having. Stay safe! You can also follow the track of the hurricane here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26295161/ns/weather/t/hurricane-tracker/

Learn what not to wear while sightseeing

Growing up in Costa Rica, we would always see tons of American and European tourists wearing the most ridiculous outfits. I've traveled all over and never have I seeing the need for the following gear. You are just putting yourself at risk of being robbed in a foreign nation. Your outfit makes you stand out. So just ask yourself, "How come I'm the only one in shorts, sandals, a hat, a fully packed back-pack, with a $700 camera around my neck, when everyone else is wearing regular outfits?" Easy rule of thumb: Just wear what you would usually wear in your own city. Just check the weather.

Avoid being a Masshole!

So recently I got my drivers license. And no, this is not my first. I let my international license expire, and was lazy about dealing with the DMV for about 3 years. But I finally decided to go and get it, and now I have to deal with all the Massholes around Boston! If you're not from the area, Masshole is a term used to describe reckless drivers (usually an insecure guy trying to prove something, if you know what I mean!) Anyway, one of the most annoying traits of these "Massholes" is when they're tailgating. Just use the simple 2 second rule. Follow the diagram, drive responsibly, and avoid being a Masshole!

Learn how to "Properly" reload the toilet paper roll

This has been a long time discussion and subject of many arguments. Should the toilet paper feed Over or Under? I say that over is the proper way. It allows for easy access to the paper squares with no messy tears.

P.S. I always reload with Charmin Ultra Double Roll! It's tough and gentle at the same time! Enjoy

Learn to "PROPERLY" use chopsticks

Every time I go to a Japanese restaurant I see westerners using chopsticks in every possible way. The following diagrams should help.

I was born in El Salvador, where back in the 80's there were NO Japanese. In one of my father's trips abroad, he brought back chopsticks for me and my brother that came with the instructional diagrams for how to use chopsticks. I have drawn these diagrams demonstrating the technique I learnt. If a 6 year old Salvadorean can learn, so can you.

P.S. My parents lived in Korea for about 8 years and I worked in Tokyo, and the technique I learnt when I was 6 proved to be the proper way, so give it a shot and impress your friends on your next sushi outing.)

NOTE: The further up you hold the sticks, the more elegant it is.